As a Marriage and Family Therapist for many years, I have had the unique opportunity to collaborate with countless people from all walks of life. This experience has been an honor and also an education. While we share much more than most of us realize, our greatest similarity is the collective struggle with our sense of self. According to the NIH, self-esteem is beneficial to all aspects of our lives. Yet, the concept of self-esteem doesn’t accurately reflect the depth of our worth. Whether or not we acknowledge the inherent value within has everything to do with what happens on the outside. In order to experience life in the best possible way, we must embrace Intrinsic Worth. 

When we neglect to know our Intrinsic Worth, we make decisions that are in alignment with what we believe to be true (our failures, our mistakes, being undeserving) rather than what is actually true (our deep and lasting value, our deserving of all things good). We work to survive rather than to thrive. Our complicated relationship with Intrinsic Worth has a lot to do with just being human. We hold onto our shortcomings, defining ourselves by past mistakes, and live on the contingency that there are consequences and we must pay.

However, when we begin to accept the truth that our Intrinsic Worth, present from birth, is not dependent on who we are or what we do, our lives change. We experience healthier relationships and naturally find closure with those that aren’t. We make choices and decisions that allow us to live with authenticity and purpose. What we thought deeply mattered no longer holds as much power. We begin to find peace with everything in and around us. Our perspective fundamentally shifts.

If you are interested in living extraordinary, here are three simple but powerful ways to embrace your Intrinsic Worth.

1. Set an Intention: Write a short statement that describes exactly how you will choose to see yourself. For example “I acknowledge the goodness and beauty within me and resolve to respect my Intrinsic Worth in thought and action.” Post this statement on your phone, mirror and any other location where you will be reminded.  Reflect on your intention often, at least several times each day. Ignore any skepticism or resistance. Every time you remember your intention, you shift closer to embracing your Intrinsic Worth. 

2. Silence Your Critical Voice: The persistent critical voice in your head may be a long and constant companion. The good news is you are bigger, and you are stronger. Quiet this voice by offering appreciation for its input, and then issuing a dismissal. For example, “I hear your concerns and thank you for alerting me, but I don’t need you at this time.” Much like speaking to a young child, the approach is gentle but firm. Repeat the process until ignoring the voice becomes a habit. Many people believe their critical voice is necessary to be “a good person” or “successful.” This belief is 100% inaccurate.  Your Intrinsic Worth already is; you have everything you need to live extraordinary.

3. Practice Persistent Forgiveness: Practicing forgiveness isn’t just a nice thing to do, it is absolutely foundational to living extraordinary. Persistent Forgiveness is the daily practice of allowing for but then intentionally releasing any negative emotion that arises through the words or actions of others. If a coworker does something to frustrate you, feel the annoyance or anger, but after a moment (or two) take a deep breath and let it go. When we are more forgiving of others, we are more forgiving of ourselves. Practicing Persistent Forgiveness fundamentally shifts our perspective and creates a gateway to see past the errors in and around us and to the inherent value within.

Whether or not we recognize and accept our Intrinsic Worth, it continues to exist. There is so much power and beauty available to us when we observe this principle. See the amazing possibilities within your reach. Embrace Intrinsic Worth and watch your life shift in the direction of extraordinary.